Stress is a given in life. We are all impacted by the daily demands of the world we live in. In many ways, stress can be positive and motivate us to meet our responsibilities, finish important tasks, and work towards goals. However, chronic, unaddressed stress can negatively impact our mental, emotional, and physical health while spilling over into our romantic relationships. If we’re not proactive about managing it, the burden of untreated stress can, ultimately, contribute to the breakdown of the connection to our partner(s). It’s important to note that Black and Indigenous/Latinx people, along with other marginalized folks like LGBTQ+ community members, suffer from higher levels of chronic stress brought upon by racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, and discrimination. Below are some of the most common ways stress can destroy our relationships and how you can begin to recover.

It Can Lower Your Sex Drive

We all have an erotic template that is made up of factors that turn us on and those that turn us off. When your mind is overwhelmed with anxious thoughts, there’s little room left for fantasizing and play. For many, high levels of stress can completely shut down the desire for sex. Sexual intimacy is important to the health of a relationship. If stress has begun to impact your sex life then set aside time and intentionally engage in sensual physical activities that can help your body to relax and experience pleasure.

You May Become More Irritable

Untreated stress can also lead to anxiety and depression, manifesting as an irritable mood. Studies show that severe irritability doesn’t solely impact the distressed individual, but also the people in their life, and even those who try to support them. Be aware if you notice that you’re lashing out more often or have become more sarcastic, as your partner(s) may begin to avoid you or foster resentment towards your treatment of them. Take the time to slow down when you’re triggered, take a break, and breathe to help lower the distress. Afterward, make sure you apologize to your partner(s) for any hurtful behavior you used towards them.

You’re Emotionally Unavailable

Relationships thrive with safe and healthy emotional connections. The safer and more connected partner(s) feel with one another, the more they can trust one another, and the more vulnerable they can be with one another, which results in deeper intimacy. Because untreated stress consumes us, the less available we will be to our partner(s). Ongoing emotional disconnection weakens relationships and makes partner(s) more vulnerable to seeking their needs getting met outside of the relationship. One way to prevent this from happening is with weekly check-ins with your partner(s) where each of you can share how you’re feeling about the relationship, as well as, the stress factors impacting you. (CLICK HERE for a FREE relationship check-in guide I created.)

Your Communication Skills Suffer

Everything requires energy, even conversations. Because stress drains our energy, we might find that we have little left to use for effective communication with our partner(s). You might find yourself avoiding conflict or conversely creating heated arguments over minor disturbances. Tending to your body with proper sleep, nutrition, hydration, and rest can help take us out of the flight/fight mode that kicks in when we’re facing stressful situations.

Need More Support?

Don’t be hard on yourself if you find that you can’t manage the stress on your own. Healing happens in connection with others. Start off by letting your partner(s) know what you’re going through, how you’re feeling, and share ways they can help reduce your stress level. Then seek out the support of a therapist with whom you can process your experiences and come up with a plan to manage the adversity you’re facing. Working with a relationship therapist can also help you & your partner(s) address the negative impacts the stress is causing on your relationship while highlighting ways to approach the stress as a team. If you’re interested in learning more about my therapeutic approach to addressing life’s challenges and the negative impacts they can have on our relationships, click HERE to schedule a phone consultation. Disclaimer: THE FLOW & EASE HEALING CENTER blog is not intended to be a substitute for legal, ethical or medical consultation or for treatment and is strictly for educational and entertainment purposes.  Nothing found on the website or email is a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition.