Many couples struggle to find time to connect with their partners. Demanding work schedules, social demands, and child-rearing are only a few of the responsibilities people must juggle.
For many, however, COVID-19 has placed a screeching halt on activities outside the home, leaving people with what they thought they wanted – more free time with their partner.
Unfortunately, being quarantined with their partner during a global pandemic wasn’t quite how they wanted to spend that time.
You may even find that more time with your partner with less space away from them may be making things worse.
Here are some ways to ride out the quarantine and still stay connected to your partner:
Give One Another Grace. In other words, give each other a break. Everyone is being affected by this in different ways. Stress, fear, and anxiety don’t usually bring out the best in us. Try and remember each of you are being impacted differently by the uncertainty of these times.
Schedule Alone Time. You may find that more time together isn’t necessarily helping the relationship. That’s because healthy relationships require a balance between interdependence and autonomy. Have a conversation and discuss your needs for autonomy. Maybe that means working in different rooms throughout the day, afternoon walks alone, or taking turns tending to the kids/pets. Find a balance that works for each of you.
Create a Chore List. More time at home means more cleaning up. Are you doing your fair share to keep your surroundings tidy & de-cluttered? Tackle the never-ending duties as a team, so neither of you ends up getting burnt out or resentful.
Sext. Try and infuse some fun into your day! Sexting (yes, even if you’re in the same house) can be a sexy way to keep moods high and infuse erotic energy into your day.
Be Aware of Your Tone. Relationship scientist, Dr. John Gottman, has done years of research on healthy relationships. A common trait among couples who report high levels of relationship satisfaction is they approach one another with “soft start-ups” versus “harsh start-ups” when approaching difficult conversations with their partners. In other words, be mindful of the tone you’re using with your partner to avoid adding unnecessary tension.
Set Boundaries with Work. With more and more people losing their jobs, the anxiety of being next may lead people to be overworking from home. Make sure you are setting healthy boundaries with work. This includes enforcing stop times on anything work related.
Look Back at Old Pictures. Take an evening to sit down together and look back at old pictures. Stroll down memory lane together to remember those special moments in your relationship – past dreams, review goals you’ve accomplished, share your favorite memories.
Schedule Sexy Time. Scheduling time to be sexual doesn’t mean you’re forcing it, it means you’re prioritizing it. And if you’re finding it difficult to feel the motivation then set some time aside for it. Focus on nurturing your erotic connection with your partner. (Please remember if you or your partner are showing or suspect symptoms of COVID-19 you should not be engaging in any physical touch. For more info on Sex During Covid-19 check out our previous post HERE.)
This is a challenging time for relationships. Many will strengthen as a result of the pressure and some may not make it. Decide how you will show up during this time and be intentional about your approach.
Also Read: It’s OK if Sex is Not On Your Mind Right Now
Disclaimer: THE FLOW & EASE HEALING CENTER blog is not intended to be a substitute for legal, ethical or medical consultation or for treatment and is strictly for educational and entertainment purposes. Nothing found on the website or email is a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition.
As the situation surrounding COVID-19 continues to evolve, it’s possible that some data have changed since posting. We encourage readers to stay informed on news and recommendations for their own communities by using the CDC, WHO, and their local public health department as resources.