Improve Communication to Save Your Relationship

POOR COMMUNICATION CAN BE DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship, yet many people find themselves struggling to truly connect through their words and actions.

The way we communicate with our partners has a profound impact on the emotional and physical closeness we experience.

Dr. John Gottman (a renowned relationship researcher) has found that by observing how partners communicate, particularly through behaviors he calls the 

—he can predict with a 90% accuracy rate whether they will stay together or eventually break up.

These communication patterns are more than just bad habits—they are deeply problematic and can have long-term consequences for your relationship.

When poor communication patterns like these become a regular part of the relationship, they begin to take a significant toll on both emotional and sexual intimacy.

Criticism, for example, can make a partner feel constantly under attack, leading to defensiveness and emotional withdrawal.

This growing emotional distance often leads to a decline in sexual desire as partners feel less connected.

Defensiveness creates a barrier to open communication, making real listening and vulnerability nearly impossible, which are both essential for emotional and physical closeness.

Contempt, often expressed through sarcasm, disdain, or eye-rolling, is the most destructive of the Four Horsemen.

It erodes trust and creates deep emotional wounds, making physical intimacy feel unsafe or forced.

Stonewalling, when one or both partners shut down entirely, leads to cold emotional distance, making both emotional and sexual connection nearly impossible to maintain.

The good news is that these patterns don’t have to define your relationship forever.

While they can be harmful, they’re not irreversible.

By becoming aware of these behaviors and taking steps to address them, you can begin to heal the disconnect that may have formed.

Repairing the relationship starts with small, intentional changes in communication.

Think of communication in a relationship as a mirror. It reflects not only what’s said but also how each person feels emotionally.

When those reflections are clouded by criticism or defensiveness, it’s easy to lose sight of the deeper connection that holds you together.

 Awareness is the first step toward repair.

 These changes aren’t always easy, and it’s completely normal to need some extra support.

 If you need professional guidance, couples therapy and sex therapy can help.

 It offers a supportive place where you can be courageous, explore what’s getting in the way, and learn new ways to connect.

 If you’re ready to take the next step in improving your communication and strengthening your relationship, start small.

Remember, it’s the daily choices to listen more, criticize less, and show empathy that pave the way for deeper connection.

If you’re in Texas and want some support from a licensed therapist and AASECT certified sex therapist, CLICK HERE to schedule your free phone consultation.  Find out how I might be able to help.