So You’ve Been Betrayed…Now What? Learning To Trust Again Will Be A Journey
Trust is essential for healthy relationships to thrive. You wouldn’t build a house without a solid foundation. In relationships, trust is that foundation.
If trust is broken, the damage can be long-lasting.
Whether it’s a romantic partnership, a friendship, or a business relationship, it forms the basis of the meaningful connections we forge with others.
However, betrayals can leave us feeling disconnected, alone, and fearful, making it difficult to trust ourselves and others again.
Trust. Why Is It So Important?
Trust is a deep-seated belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, and effective. It allows us to let our guard down and be vulnerable with each other without the pressure of having to be perfect.
We take risks because we have a safe and comfortable feeling that if we do, our vulnerabilities won’t be used against us.
When you trust someone, you believe they will behave in a certain way and keep their promises.
Trust is essential for our mental and emotional as it helps us to feel secure and safe in our relationships. With trust, we have confidence when pursuing our goals.
It enables us to manage anxiety and fear and to build better connections with others.
Trust is also crucial for building and maintaining healthy relationships, as it allows us to be more open and honest with others.
How Betrayal Affects Us
So, what happens when that trust is broken?
How does betrayal impact our ability to trust others, as well as ourselves?
Betrayal can make you feel vulnerable, fearful, and angry. It can result in a loss of self-esteem and confidence, making it difficult to trust yourself or others.
You may question your judgment, feel isolated, and experience symptoms of depression or anxiety.
Shame may also rear its ugly head, telling you that something is wrong with you for trusting or that the betrayal was because you’re not enough to not be betrayed.
It will convince you that you are unlovable, unworthy, and undesirable. It may even tell you that you will never be loved the way you desire. Intrusive thoughts are insidious, wreaking havoc on one’s well-being and causing feelings of worthlessness, sadness, and isolation.
It’s imperative to acknowledge these emotions and proactively seek assistance from experts and professionals when necessary.
Self-Care Can’t Be Stressed Enough
Caring for ourselves is an art that requires practice and patience. As we tend to our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, we step deeper into our Higher Self.
By embracing healthier, non-destructive ways of tending to our needs and desires, we are able to overcome challenges and live life more fully. You can start with some of these:
- Journal your way through toward healing: Putting your thoughts and feelings to paper is an effective way to process and work through difficult emotions caused by betrayal. Spend a few minutes each day writing in a journal to reflect on your experiences and explore your emotions in a safe and private space.
- Create a self-soothing kit: As you work through the process of recovery, self-care is vital. A great way to promote comfort and joy is to develop a collection of items that serve to pacify you. These may include a favorite book, calming essential oils, or a cozy blanket. Having such objects nearby will help you through difficult days, bringing a sense of control to your recovery.
- Spend time in nature: Being in nature can have a calming and grounding effect on our emotions. Try spending time in a natural setting, such as a park or beach, and allow yourself to fully immerse yourself in the experience of being outdoors.
Boosting Self-Confidence
Rebuilding self-confidence is another critical aspect of learning to trust yourself again. Here are some tips that can help:
- Don’t underestimate the power of positive self-talk. Identify and highlight your strengths, skills, and abilities. Affirm them frequently. This will help you maintain a positive attitude and can be incredibly helpful in moments when self-doubt and shame creep in.
- Cultivate a growth mindset and practice radical acceptance. When faced with challenges, view them as opportunities to grow. You don’t have to enjoy what’s happening, but it’s important to stop resisting it. This shift in perspective allows you to take action and make the necessary changes.
- To consistently move towards your goals, it’s helpful to aim for achievable and manageable targets, those low-hanging fruits that you can easily grab. Break down bigger goals into smaller, easily-accomplishable actions that will keep your momentum going. By consistently achieving these goals, your motivation and confidence will continue to grow.
- To strengthen your own self-belief, surround yourself with supportive people who genuinely believe in you. It’s best if they can reflect back to you and remind you of your strengths and lovable qualities. This creates an environment where you can thrive and achieve your full potential.
- Get out of that comfort zone and try out activities that challenge you. Doing so will help you develop new skills and push beyond limitations you never thought possible. As you begin to recognize your own capabilities, you may find yourself amazed at what you can accomplish.
Learning to Trust Again
Rebuilding trust after experiencing betrayal can feel frightening and impossible. As tempting as it is to barricade ourselves behind emotional stone walls that guarantee safety from future hurt, it also deprives us of experiencing love and connection. The truth is taking steps to trust again is necessary if we hope to find love once more. Here are some ways to begin trusting again:
- Fine-tune your communication. Developing effective communication skills is crucial, particularly if it’s been a challenge in the past. Overcome the fear of setting healthy boundaries by practicing open and direct communication. Begin by practicing in low-risk situations with supportive people you trust.
- Practice forgiveness. Forgiveness entails neither forgetting nor condoning betrayal but rather releasing anger and resentment. It doesn’t require giving the offender a second chance either – it simply frees you from the energetic hold that binds you to them. Don’t forget to extend forgiveness to yourself as well. We often overlook the ways we punish ourselves after someone has stopped hurting us.
- Specify your boundaries and expectations. Effective communication of our expectations is mandatory. You know what they say–we often learn our boundaries only after they’ve been breached. So it’s crucial that we clarify them from the beginning. Make sure you’re on the same page about relationship boundaries. Don’t just assume that everyone sees it the way you do – talk to them and find out their expectations.
- Take baby steps. Building self-trust starts with taking small steps. Begin by making simple decisions, like choosing what to wear or eat, and build up to more complex choices. As confidence grows, extend trust to others. Over time, self-doubt becomes a thing of the past. This doesn’t mean you’ll never make mistakes, but you’ll learn to be kinder to yourself in the face of them.
- Get professional support. If you continue to struggle, remember you don’t need to go through this alone. Healing often happens best in connection with others. Seek out professional help. A therapist can work with you to develop strategies for rebuilding trust and offer guidance and support as you navigate this process.
Learning to trust yourself again after experiencing a betrayal and the subsequent struggle to rebuild your trust in others is a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to practice self-care and forgiveness. Focusing on these strategies can rebuild trust and confidence and help you move forward with renewed strength and resilience.
If you live in Texas and need support working through betrayal, CLICK HERE to book your free phone consultation. Find out how we can support you through this difficult time.