What to Do if Sex Has Become Awkward
Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but it is an integral part of romantic relationships. It fosters connection, satisfaction, and pleasure. However, for many partners, sex can become awkward or infrequent, leading to a host of emotional and relational issues. As a licensed relationship therapist and certified sex therapist, I’ve seen how common this issue can be. You’re not alone in this, and there’s no need to feel ashamed.
Understanding the Problem: Why Sex Becomes Awkward
It’s a common occurrence for couples to observe a decrease in their sexual activity as their relationship progresses over time. But sometimes, it can become nonexistent.
Sexual intimacy within a relationship can go from being a source of fun and playfulness to becoming uncomfortable and awkward for a variety of reasons.
Some common reasons for awkwardness in sexual intimacy include:
- Painful experiences: Physical discomfort during sex can negatively impact sexual desire. Sex shouldn’t be painful (unless it’s a kink they enjoy).
- Busy schedules: Balancing work, family, and personal time can leave little room for intimacy. Soon, it can become just another task on a long list of to-dos.
- Lack of enjoyment: When sex isn’t pleasurable, it’s natural to avoid it. Most people don’t desire lousy sex.
- Mismatched desires: Partners don’t always match up with what they want and when they want it. Differing levels of sexual desire and sexual interests can create tension.
Impact of Avoiding Sexual Intimacy
When couples shy away from sexual intimacy, the tension surrounding the topic can grow. This avoidance can lead to sexless relationships, where sexual activity is minimal or nonexistent. As a result, sex can become a topic of conflict and frustration, leading to further emotional distance.
How to Bring Back the Sexual Connection
Step 1: Let it Be Awkward for a While
The first step in overcoming awkwardness is acknowledging it and making space for it. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. Accept that feeling awkward is part of the process. You’re not alone in this, and your feelings are valid.
Step 2: Grieve the Past
You may be frustrated about where you find yourself now and long for the days of old. But letting go of your old sex life is essential. Grieving what was and embracing the changes can open the door to creating a new, fulfilling sexual connection with your partner.
Step 3: Be Intentional
Set clear intentions for your sex life. What do you want it to be like? How do you want to feel emotionally and physically? How do you want your partner to think about it? Consider the value you place on having a sexual connection with your partner. This reflection can help you better understand what you need to work on.
Step 4: Talk About It
Open and honest communication is vital. Discuss your desires, boundaries, and fears with your partner. Create a welcoming and open environment for these conversations, ensuring you feel heard and respected.
Practice Patience
Patience is a key element in this process. Allow time for adjustment and avoid putting pressure on yourself. Remember, changing old habits, letting go of limiting beliefs, and creating a new sex life is a gradual process. Don’t rush it.
Enhancing Emotional Connection
Building intimacy outside the bedroom is just as important. Engage in activities that foster emotional bonding, such as date nights, deep conversations, or shared hobbies. Strengthening your emotional connection can enhance your sexual connection.
Exploring New Experiences
Keep an open mind and explore new experiences together. Trying new things can bring excitement and novelty to your relationship. Whether it’s experimenting with different types of touch or exploring fantasies, being open to new experiences can reignite the passion and excitement.
Be Open-Minded and Let Your Guard Down
Being open and vulnerable with each other can build trust and deepen your connection. Share your fears, desires, and emotions honestly, fostering a safe and supportive environment for intimacy.
Maintaining the Connection
Keeping the emotional connection alive is crucial. Regular check-ins with each other can help you stay connected and address any issues before they become more significant problems.
Seeking Professional Help
If you’re struggling to navigate this journey on your own, consider seeking professional help. Working with a certified sex therapist can provide guidance and support, helping you each work through your challenges and rebuild your sexual connection.
Remember, you’re not alone, and with the right approach, you can rebuild a new, fulfilling, and satisfying sexual connection. There’s hope for a better future.
FAQs
What if my partner is not interested in rekindling our sex life?
It’s essential to have an open and honest conversation about your concerns and desires. If your partner still needs more incentive, consider seeking professional help to navigate this challenge together.
What are some activities to enhance our emotional connection?
Engage in activities that promote bonding, such as date nights, shared hobbies, and deep conversations. Emotional intimacy often translates to improved sexual intimacy.
How can I overcome the fear of disappointing my partner?
Acknowledge your fears and communicate them with your partner. Building trust and understanding can help alleviate the fear of disappointment. Remember, intimacy is a shared experience.
When should we consider professional help?
If you’re struggling to make progress on your own, seeking professional help can provide valuable guidance and support. A therapist can help you navigate challenges and rebuild your connection. If you live in Texas, CLICK HERE to schedule a free consultation today.